Discouraged...

i often wake up with great thoughts or they come to me while falling asleep... perfect timing right? hardly remember half of them... mostly just remember that i had some kind of good thought... what it was? idk...

this morning i woke up thinking about how some people call themselves environmentalists, caring consumers, social justice activists, etc... when really arent all those things connected? i guess some people like to focus on one specifically, nothing wrong with that... however i have a really hard time understanding how someone might say they care about animals soooooo much and yet eat meat.... i am definitely not judging here... i know i do it... i know its something i struggle with... i care about animals and the earth and yet eat meat... that has got to be one of the most hypocritical things i do. there is no way that eating meat is good for the earth or caring for animals. anyways, it got me to thinking how society in general likes to voice out issues and promote causes, but yet are breaking the same PRINCIPLES they are tyring to promote but in different ways... if that makes any sense... lol... its so easy for us to get onboard with issues or projects as long as its CONVENIENT. i guess what we accomplish even if its out of convenience, is still better than nothing... but it makes me sad. it is missing the whole point of instilling values and changing lifestyles, instead we have trends. just like how environmentalism has been commonly marketed... i understand the idea/concept of making things "easy" for people in order for them to see that everyone is capable of something, but where is that missing link? the link from "okay here are all these reusable bags that you can so conveniently purchase and hopefully use" to "why does it even matter/whats the point and what does this mean for other aspects of my life". have we become so dependent on being spoon fed all the options that we no longer think for ourselves? i love living in america. there are very many wonderful things about this country. but the superficial focus and consumeristic lifestyles are plain old disgusting and rather embarrassing to be associated with... and sadly, many people in this country - especially california - are like this... no i dont know everyone and no i dont know what is in their hearts or what their intentions are, but i think it is undoubtedly true and obviously shown... i want to be part of the solution, but sometimes i feel these issues are too big or hit too deep that it is overwhelming to think about let a lone try to come up with ways to implement solutions...i feel so small and i cant find my voice... like i have no appropriate reason/authority to even be trying to voice opinions on some of these issues... who am i? a 23 year old, still living at home, no job, sheltered background, small town girl... i dont know... this world is such a beautiful place why do we fail to see it? why do we forget to be grateful? why do we have pride in individual accomplishments when we can do so much more together? maybe thats part of the reason i feel so powerless, its because i feel alone.

Happiness & Horror

Yesterday was my wonderful little sister's birthday :D she turned 17!!! makes me feel even older... my boyfriend and i took her to a local thrift store (instead of driving 40+ miles to go used bookstore shopping, we were also pressed for time) on monday... she got around 5 books and 3 shirts... he too got a couple books and i got 2 childrens books, 3 bedsheets (yay more fabric for sewing!!), a shirt and a cardigan... we found some great stuff for marvelous prices! we also went to the library... one of her absolute favorite places...

then yesterday my mom, older sister and i took her to the mall... she got a great winter wool coat, lots of long sleeves, a couple scarves... and thats all i remember, lol... we also stopped at in-n-out on the way home...

about a month ago i found a journal that was perfect for her... i was finally able to give it to her yesterday :) .. i sometimes have a really hard time keeping surprises, i just get toooo excited! it was awesome because the other present i got her came in the mail on her bday!! it was a little flip book of pictures of family and friends...

i love her a lot...

but on to the horribleness..... i was loading my thrift store finds into the laundry and what did i see when i looked up???

ahhh!!! it was soooo scary!!! it was just my little sister and me home... so we didnt kno what to do... we dont like to kill spiders anymore cuz thats not nice... but we were too terrified to try and catch it... it took us about 30 min to muster the courage to just do it... but we did and we are waiting for someone to come home to release it outside...

today we are planning to help our older sister pack some stuff... waiting for my boyfriend to get here so we can all go help out...

My New Friend's Birthday

This past weekend was my friend's birthday. Since my Human Biology test that was supposed to be on Thursday got postponed to today, I had some extra time to sew. What did I do? I made her a reversible apron and a tote :) This was my first time making a tote... I hope it works out for her...

The reversible apron... the lil birdie is a pocket...

The tote... with 2 lil pockets on the base of the handles...

I call her my "new friend" because although we grew up in the same church, we never spent that much time together outside of church. However, this past year that changed. We are both part of a small worship group that meets every week outside of church. Not only has this group allowed me a place to discuss relevant religious topics with peers, but to spend time & get to know people better. I am glad we have become better friends Lina :D

On Saturday night, a few of us went to Bay Point to spend the night at my friend Joelly's new house. We ate at Chipotle for dinner... I really do love eating there. I am having a hard time resisting meat. At least when I eat there I know its "food with integrity" and naturally raised beef... Anyway, we went to Coco Swirl after... then watched Up when we got to her house... We woke up early to head off to the Green Festival in San Francisco! I was overwhelmed at first... there were sooooo many vendors and people! It was awesome seeing all the great ideas and products.... I wish I could have spent more time there.. and honestly with less people... it was too crowded for my taste, lol. But I guess its an amazing thing that there were a lot of people.

Lina's puppies are soooo adorable!!! I wish I could have a puppy and it would stay a puppy forever :D

Today I took my Human Biology exam... ya... it was pretty bad... I guessed on almost half of it. It's my own fault for not studying much... This class is actually pretty cool. I like learning about the body... but I want the semester to be over already!!

I have a big project due on Thursday and a paper due on Monday. I really should be focusing my time on those two items. Despite that, all I feel like doing is sewing and reading A Little Princess! I spent most of today ordering prints from Snapfish... Oh! and my little sister had her first basketball game of the season today. They played P.Hill.. at half time the score was 11-34... final score was 20-35?... Napa lost :( It's weird watching the "younger generations" play... especially at the schools I attended... I saw one of my high school classmate's dad... its been a loooong time since we've seen each other... he asked if I was married?!?!? Wow, it hit me that yes, I am at that age... Time just keeps going by faster and faster. Well, after watching their game, I want to start running. I am the opposite of what I was like in high school. I am so out of shape now and back then it was a different story... my journey with athletics has taken a different road than what I thought... I'm not sure why and how I got here, but don't feel like digging up those buried issues...

It's getting late. My boyfriend keeps texting me... I should go... Nighty nite world...

Ecstatic about Sewing!

during this past year i have come to the realization that i enjoy sewing

i have done a few projects in the past (making a pair of boxers in my 9th grade home ec class, a fairy dress for my 12th grade winter festival, a couple pig puppets and bean bags for student teaching, etc.)

but this past year i have made several aprons. for example, these two were for my dear friend tamara

a couple of these travel bags for "feminine use" - 2 without the strap

a ladybug costume for my church's fall fun festival

a markers holder - easy to throw in a bag

also my first quilt/blanket - i got the patchwork panel free from my church garage sale and added the rest from fabric i already had... instead of using batting, i used 2 layers of fleece :)

i can't seem to stop! after i finish this blog im gonna attempt to make a tote for my friend...

i like to shop at thrift stores and see what treasures i can find. lately ive been obsessed with buying fabric (bedsheets, pillowcases, anything) last week i bought a bunch of fabric and can't wait to use them!!